When kids come into the picture, it's a big role change not only for new parents but for new grandparents as well," she adds. If the input feels like an insinuation of your incompetence, you could say, "It would mean a lot if you could let us know that you believe in us. If they're getting one message from Mom and a different one from Grandma, it can be not just confusing but destabilizing. Cook doesn't mince words: "You're not obligated to have your kids around dangerous people, regardless of their title.

Ask what would help them feel fulfilled by the connection but would also allow them to live their own lives. If you're struggling with the grandparent-child relationship, take some advice from our experts—as well as from fellow parents who’ve been there.

My mother-in-law assumed it was that day because we were seeing my parents for the 'real' holiday—we weren't—and launched into an itemized list of 16-plus years' worth of times she felt we'd chosen my parents over her. Cook agrees: "Often, what they really want isn't for things to be 'equal' but to have more of something they feel they're missing out on. It's generally a great arrangement, until he comes home one night, showers, and enters his room in the buff to find his gramm's hippie friend Edith on his computer. I will admit I always did like sex and usually had orgasms, even with my first husband but I now absolutely LOVE everything I do with my new husband. You might say,' Ava loves it when you visit, but I'm concerned about the wrestling, so I'd love it if you could leave that out.

Whether they're distractible, a tad too rough, or rusty on the ways of littles, some grandparents are just not great at caring for young kids. And take a moment to ask yourself: "Is this actually an insult, or does it just bug me because it's my parent saying it? To help make the most of this crucial relationship, we asked experts and seasoned parents to identify six common grandparent behaviors that wear on families, and to offer loving strategies for working through them.This style may be the most frequent complaint parents levy against their parents or in-laws—that they assert their opinion when it hasn't been solicited, come around too much, or even seem to covet the primary position in their child's life. Caught Checking Out Gramm's Friend's Cleavage Chris loves his gramm, but not his gramm's best friend, Gerty. The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products.